These past couple of weeks have been STRESSFUL to say the least!
On July 3, I took him in for his 2 week appointment, and he weighed 6lbs 7oz. Which still wasn't back up to his birth weight. I know babies usually lose some weight after they are born, but my doctor was a little concerned that he was 2 weeks old, and still not back up. So we started supplementing him with formula, after I would nurse him. My doctor was afraid that I wasn't producing enough milk.
Just after that appointment, he started spitting up, horribly. My doctor was out of town so I thought that I would get in first thing when he got back, but that didn't happen. On July 9, at 4:45 I took him to see another doctor in the clinic because I was worried. He weighed him, and he was up to 7lbs 3oz, which was good, but I was still concerned. This kid wasn't keeping ANYTHING down. So they wrote him a prescription for prevacid, and said that if he was still having problems, to bring him back in in a couple days. So then on July 11, and 9:45 AM I took him back in, and we saw, yet, another doctor. He was down to 6lbs even. He wasn't keeping anything down, at all. I got so scared. They sent us right away to do tests. They check him for pyloric stenosis, and it was negative, but they saw that he did have acid reflux, just worse than they originally thought. So they upped his dose of meds, and told me to feed him less, more often. So we started feeding him a half ounce every half hour. Then slowly upped up. Now we're up to 2 oz every 2 hours. On July 15 we went back in to see my doctor to let him know what's been going on, and he was back up to 7lbs 4oz. So we're on the right track, but he's still not where they want him to be for being a month old. We have to take him to do weekly weight checks for the next couple weeks, and if he's gaining what he should be, then we should be good.
It has been so stressful for me. I'm his mother, I'm supposed to be able to feed him, and take care of him, and I felt like I was failing. I have been dealing with some postpartum depression, so that wasn't helping! But, he's doing much better, so we're feeling better!
Sorry, short post! He's waking up, and I need to go feed him!
Friday, July 18, 2014
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Wesley's Story
I've needed to write this down for a while! Wesley is sleeping, so I'm taking the time to do it now!
This is Wesley's birth story!
June 20, 2014
I woke up at 4:00 AM with contractions! Around 7:00 I went in and woke Victor up. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart at this point. But I kept telling Victor that I didn't want to go to the hospital, because I was scared that they would just tell me to suck it up, and to go home. I was so worried that I was having Braxton Hicks, and that the contractions weren't really doing anything. At about 8:00 I got in the shower, while Victor made breakfast for us. I was going to eat before we went to the hospital since I wouldn't be able to eat until after baby came. We both called our bosses to tell them that it was finally the day! While Victor was on the phone with his boss, I was standing in the hall, screaming from a contraction! haha.
Anyways, we packed the car, and headed to the hospital around 9:00. When we got there my doctor was standing by the maternity ward nurses station, and he was super surprised to see us come in. I had just gone in 2 days before, and NOTHING had changed, at all.
When they got me in and hooked up to the monitors, we were excited to hear that I was dilated to a 6! YES! that meant that the contractions were actually doing something!
At 10:00 I got my epidural. When they went to give it to me, they discovered that my back was swollen. My whole body was swollen. Before they would give me my epidural, they had to do blood work to make sure I didn't have preeclampsia. I gained about 50 LBS while I was pregnant, which is a symptom. But the blood work came back normal, so, they gave me the epidural.
at 1:00 my doctor came in to break my water. After he broke it, he was checking to see if I was any further dilated, and he goes "what's this?" I looked at him, terrified, and said "don't say that." I had a SECOND water. The first water they broke was a smaller water in front of the main water. My doctor said this could have been why I gained so much weight, and why I was so swollen at the end. After they broke my water(s), every time I would have a contraction, Wesley's heart rate would slow WAY down, and stay down for about 5 minutes. They started prepping for a c-section. They had the OR ready and set up. All that was left was me, getting there. About a minute before they wheeled me down, his heart rate came back up, and stayed up. They decided to watch it through the next couple of contractions. It was fine. So my doctor left for a while. As soon as he left, his heart rate went down again. Luckily, my doctor didn't have any appointments that day, and he could stick around my room. They kept keeping an eye on his heart rate, but it seemed to be balancing out.
By 4:30, Wesley still hadn't dropped down at all. They did an ultrasound, and figured out that the cord was keeping him from dropping. This was another reason they were thinking c-section. My doctor wanted to try a couple practice pushes to see if his heart could take it, and if he would drop. So I pushed 3 times, and he says "oh, well, maybe we should get serious about this, because he's on his way." So, I pushed for about a half hour, (15 pushes) and there he was. He let out one little cry, and that was it. Even when they were giving him his shots, he didn't cry! He didn't cry at all in the hospital. They took him to the nursery at night, around 10:00 PM and brought him back to me around 4:00 AM saying "Well, he hasn't made a sound, but he's probably hungry..."
He's been such a good baby so far. Although, we are having a hard time figuring out the feeding thing. When I nurse him, he spits up really bad. He cries, and arches his back until it comes up. I feel horrible for him. I can't figure out what it is that I'm eating, or what I'm doing. My doctor has me feeding him formula after I nurse him, because he's also not gaining any weight. At his 2 week appointment, he was 6 OZ less than he was when he was born. My doctor thinks I'm not producing enough milk for him. I have to take him back in this week for a weight check to make sure he's gaining. I guess we'll see what happens.
Anyways, that is the story of how my little wiggley Wesley came into this world, and how he stole our hearts in the matter of seconds.
Victor has been so wonderful with him. Very hands on, and I love seeing how much he loves his son.
This is Wesley's birth story!
June 20, 2014
I woke up at 4:00 AM with contractions! Around 7:00 I went in and woke Victor up. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart at this point. But I kept telling Victor that I didn't want to go to the hospital, because I was scared that they would just tell me to suck it up, and to go home. I was so worried that I was having Braxton Hicks, and that the contractions weren't really doing anything. At about 8:00 I got in the shower, while Victor made breakfast for us. I was going to eat before we went to the hospital since I wouldn't be able to eat until after baby came. We both called our bosses to tell them that it was finally the day! While Victor was on the phone with his boss, I was standing in the hall, screaming from a contraction! haha.Anyways, we packed the car, and headed to the hospital around 9:00. When we got there my doctor was standing by the maternity ward nurses station, and he was super surprised to see us come in. I had just gone in 2 days before, and NOTHING had changed, at all.
When they got me in and hooked up to the monitors, we were excited to hear that I was dilated to a 6! YES! that meant that the contractions were actually doing something!
At 10:00 I got my epidural. When they went to give it to me, they discovered that my back was swollen. My whole body was swollen. Before they would give me my epidural, they had to do blood work to make sure I didn't have preeclampsia. I gained about 50 LBS while I was pregnant, which is a symptom. But the blood work came back normal, so, they gave me the epidural.at 1:00 my doctor came in to break my water. After he broke it, he was checking to see if I was any further dilated, and he goes "what's this?" I looked at him, terrified, and said "don't say that." I had a SECOND water. The first water they broke was a smaller water in front of the main water. My doctor said this could have been why I gained so much weight, and why I was so swollen at the end. After they broke my water(s), every time I would have a contraction, Wesley's heart rate would slow WAY down, and stay down for about 5 minutes. They started prepping for a c-section. They had the OR ready and set up. All that was left was me, getting there. About a minute before they wheeled me down, his heart rate came back up, and stayed up. They decided to watch it through the next couple of contractions. It was fine. So my doctor left for a while. As soon as he left, his heart rate went down again. Luckily, my doctor didn't have any appointments that day, and he could stick around my room. They kept keeping an eye on his heart rate, but it seemed to be balancing out.
By 4:30, Wesley still hadn't dropped down at all. They did an ultrasound, and figured out that the cord was keeping him from dropping. This was another reason they were thinking c-section. My doctor wanted to try a couple practice pushes to see if his heart could take it, and if he would drop. So I pushed 3 times, and he says "oh, well, maybe we should get serious about this, because he's on his way." So, I pushed for about a half hour, (15 pushes) and there he was. He let out one little cry, and that was it. Even when they were giving him his shots, he didn't cry! He didn't cry at all in the hospital. They took him to the nursery at night, around 10:00 PM and brought him back to me around 4:00 AM saying "Well, he hasn't made a sound, but he's probably hungry..."He's been such a good baby so far. Although, we are having a hard time figuring out the feeding thing. When I nurse him, he spits up really bad. He cries, and arches his back until it comes up. I feel horrible for him. I can't figure out what it is that I'm eating, or what I'm doing. My doctor has me feeding him formula after I nurse him, because he's also not gaining any weight. At his 2 week appointment, he was 6 OZ less than he was when he was born. My doctor thinks I'm not producing enough milk for him. I have to take him back in this week for a weight check to make sure he's gaining. I guess we'll see what happens.
Anyways, that is the story of how my little wiggley Wesley came into this world, and how he stole our hearts in the matter of seconds.
Victor has been so wonderful with him. Very hands on, and I love seeing how much he loves his son.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
It may be a while....
Well,
So much for baby just falling out! I went to the doctor today, and since I've only had like 1 or 2 contractions since my last appointment, he decided to not even check me, since there's a pretty good chance that nothing has changed. He started talking about when they will induce, at 41 weeks. So we could be looking at a 4th of July baby! He did say that baby has dropped a little bit, so I'm slowly getting there, but he's not thinking that too much is going to change this week either. Of course, he could be wrong! haha. I guess we'll see what happens! The doctor guessed that baby is around 7 pounds right now, but the longer he's in there, the bigger he becomes!
I'm actually okay with baby waiting till the due date, because we just got a 7 week old puppy, and I want to get him settled before we bring baby home. Last night, he only whined when he heard me get up to pee, so we're hoping that he's getting used to his crate, and his new home. He's super cute, and he LOVES Dash! Dash is so good with him too, unless he's coming off a sedation, and the puppy won't leave him alone. That ends with the puppy whimpering, and hiding under our bed!
Anyways, I just thought I would write a quick update for those of you who are actually following along!
So much for baby just falling out! I went to the doctor today, and since I've only had like 1 or 2 contractions since my last appointment, he decided to not even check me, since there's a pretty good chance that nothing has changed. He started talking about when they will induce, at 41 weeks. So we could be looking at a 4th of July baby! He did say that baby has dropped a little bit, so I'm slowly getting there, but he's not thinking that too much is going to change this week either. Of course, he could be wrong! haha. I guess we'll see what happens! The doctor guessed that baby is around 7 pounds right now, but the longer he's in there, the bigger he becomes!
I'm actually okay with baby waiting till the due date, because we just got a 7 week old puppy, and I want to get him settled before we bring baby home. Last night, he only whined when he heard me get up to pee, so we're hoping that he's getting used to his crate, and his new home. He's super cute, and he LOVES Dash! Dash is so good with him too, unless he's coming off a sedation, and the puppy won't leave him alone. That ends with the puppy whimpering, and hiding under our bed!
Anyways, I just thought I would write a quick update for those of you who are actually following along!
Friday, June 13, 2014
What did you say?!
Over the past year or so there have been a few things said to me that I have really had to stop and think "Did you really just say that to me?" So I thought I would write a list, just so I can find the humor....
Before I ever got pregnant
- "When are you guys going to have a baby?" - Don't say this to a woman, you don't know what they are going through. They could be trying, and not having any luck.
- "You guys have been married for (insert time frame here) and you still haven't had a baby?!" - See above.
Once we announced I was pregnant
- "You're FINALLY pregnant?" -Seriously people
- "You're starting to show already." -Nope, I'm just fat! Thanks though!
- "You look tiny." -I feel like a cow (I know, there is no pleasing a pregnant lady)
Throughout the rest of the pregnancy
- "You look like you were ready to pop 2 months ago." -Ummm....Thanks?!
- "You look totally miserable, of course that could just be the way you look, and you could feel great." -Yes, this was really said to me.
- "I'll get you a parachute at the Army Surplus store to wear." (Thanks dad) He was TOTALLY kidding.
- "I don't know how you're still walking."
- "You don't walk anymore. you waddle." -NO lady wants to hear that they are waddling. We already know we look ridiculous....HA!
- "You're gonna do (Thing) with your son? Really?" -YES! He's our son, and we'll do what we want to with him.
- "How are you feeling?" -I know this is just a question, and you probably are really concerned, but when we get to the very end of the pregnancy, you feel like CRAP! You hurt all over, you're tired beyond tired, your feet hurt, if you're like me, your swollen, EVERYWHERE, and you just want to cry. This is a very loaded question. So if you're going to ask it, prepare yourself.
- "You'll wish you were still pregnant once that baby is here." -What are you trying to say? That I'm gonna wish my son wasn't born? I have put in the time, I think it's time that I get to hold my baby boy. Will I miss feeling him move, yes, however, I'm gonna have a baby. A baby that we WANTED.
- "A REAL mother wouldn't put their child into daycare." -Ummm.....I have nothing to say to that one.
- "Things are going to be so hard when that baby comes." -Why can't people tell me how WONDERFUL things will be, how I'm gonna love being a mother, and how there's nothing like it in the world when your baby looks up at you and smiles for the first time?! THOSE are the things we want to hear.
- "You'll think of divorce more in the first 3 months of your baby's life than you have the whole time you've been married." -I'm sorry your relationship is rocky, my husband and I will be just fine!
I'm sure there are a few other ones that I've missed, but these are the ones that have really stuck out to me! When people say these things to you, all you can do is laugh. I mean, seriously, just laugh about it, because if you don't, it'll make it worse!
Friday, June 6, 2014
Today was the day...
Today was the day they cut my stitch. When my doctor pulled it out, he showed it to me, and I was SHOCKED at how small it was. This tiny little piece of thread was holding our son in. CRAZY! I didnt go into labor right away, but he did say that I'm dilated to a 2 already. We could have a baby within a week, or I could go to my due date. I guess we'll see what happens. I have been pretty emotional today. Part of me wants this baby here, now. The part that has been MISERABLE for the last couple weeks. Between my super swollen kankles, my tired feet, not sleeping (yes, i know, when he gets here, the sleep won't get any better) and how much my whole body hurts, I'm ready for him to be here. The other part of me wants him to stay in there for as long as he can, so we can make sure he's good and healthy.
Anyways, I'll update the blog when we know more!
Anyways, I'll update the blog when we know more!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
News
Hello to the 2 people that actually read our blog! ;)
We finally have some news on what's going on with baby! We know that they are pulling the stitch on June 6th, which means we will be delivering here in Richfield because I will be 37 weeks at that point! After they pull that stitch, our little man is welcome to come whenever he wants! Victor thinks I'll make it a couple more weeks before he makes his grand entrance, I think he'll probably come within a week of them pulling the stitch! I guess we shall see! I can't believe we could have a baby in 3 weeks! It's a crazy thought! I guess we need to start to get his room put together!
I go in again tomorrow to check everything, and to make sure he's still stuck in there, but I'm sure everything will be just fine!
Here is a picture of our little guy when he finally decided to show us his face at our 30 week (4 weeks ago) ultrasound. If you ask me, I think he's the cutest little man there ever was!
We finally have some news on what's going on with baby! We know that they are pulling the stitch on June 6th, which means we will be delivering here in Richfield because I will be 37 weeks at that point! After they pull that stitch, our little man is welcome to come whenever he wants! Victor thinks I'll make it a couple more weeks before he makes his grand entrance, I think he'll probably come within a week of them pulling the stitch! I guess we shall see! I can't believe we could have a baby in 3 weeks! It's a crazy thought! I guess we need to start to get his room put together!
I go in again tomorrow to check everything, and to make sure he's still stuck in there, but I'm sure everything will be just fine!
Here is a picture of our little guy when he finally decided to show us his face at our 30 week (4 weeks ago) ultrasound. If you ask me, I think he's the cutest little man there ever was!
Monday, April 21, 2014
For Mommy's eyes only
Hello there fellow mommys!
I have a quick question for you, and if you want to answer, great! If not, don't worry about it!
After our little man joins our family, I will be taking 6 weeks maternity leave, and then coming back to work. I'm looking for a breastpump that is a good one. One that, if it is a little more money, is worth it. Also, any tips of pumping would be greatly appreciated. I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to get the milk I need for him. Any thoughts and ideas?!
Thanks in advance!
I have a quick question for you, and if you want to answer, great! If not, don't worry about it!
After our little man joins our family, I will be taking 6 weeks maternity leave, and then coming back to work. I'm looking for a breastpump that is a good one. One that, if it is a little more money, is worth it. Also, any tips of pumping would be greatly appreciated. I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to get the milk I need for him. Any thoughts and ideas?!
Thanks in advance!
Monday, April 14, 2014
Dear Baby Boy M.
Son,
As we sit here getting closer and closer to the day you will join us, my mind is filled with so many things I want to say to you, things I am concerned about, and things I just think about.
First and foremost, I want you to know that your daddy and I love you very much. I'm amazed at how much we love you already. You still have 11 weeks before you join us here in earth, but in our hearts, you've been in our family for 29 weeks. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk about you. What we're going to name you, who we think you'll be come, if we're gonna be the best parents for you, and so on and so forth. You are the first thing on my mind in the mornings, and the last thing on my mind at night. When I wake up in the middle of the night to pee because you're kicking my bladder (thanks for that) you are the only thing I think about until I fall back to sleep.
We're still not exactly sure what we're going to name you, but we have a couple ideas. There is one name that we keep coming back to, and one day, I'll let you know if what we end up naming you, is the name we were thinking about!
Your daddy and I wonder all the time who you will become. We will raise you the best we can, with the Gospel in your life, but we know that it is ultimately your decision. Please know, that no matter who you become in your life, that your daddy and I will love you....no matter what.
You will find out that your mommy is a worrier....your daddy, not so much. I find myself worrying a lot about if I'll be the mother you deserve, if I have what it takes to do the 2 AM feedings, if I will be patient enough, or if I will love you enough. I worry that maybe I will screw up. But with the help of your dad, and the priesthood he holds, I've found comfort in the blessings he's given me.
Speaking of your dad, he is the most incredible man I have ever met. You are so lucky to have him as your daddy. Please look up to him, ask him questions, and let him help you. Please know that while he's not super emotional, and doesn't voice his feelings very loud, or often, know that he loves you. Please lean on him when you're going through hard times. We might be old, but we've been through a thing or two. He is so excited to take you hunting, and camping with him. Use this time to bond with him.
I can't wait to meet you little guy, but I guess for now I will settle with feeling your kicks, your headbutts, and hearing your heartbeat at all of our appointments. It's amazing how hearing a little "swoosh" can brighten my day so much, and fill my heart with so much emotion.
I love you so so much,
Your Mommy
As we sit here getting closer and closer to the day you will join us, my mind is filled with so many things I want to say to you, things I am concerned about, and things I just think about.
First and foremost, I want you to know that your daddy and I love you very much. I'm amazed at how much we love you already. You still have 11 weeks before you join us here in earth, but in our hearts, you've been in our family for 29 weeks. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk about you. What we're going to name you, who we think you'll be come, if we're gonna be the best parents for you, and so on and so forth. You are the first thing on my mind in the mornings, and the last thing on my mind at night. When I wake up in the middle of the night to pee because you're kicking my bladder (thanks for that) you are the only thing I think about until I fall back to sleep.
We're still not exactly sure what we're going to name you, but we have a couple ideas. There is one name that we keep coming back to, and one day, I'll let you know if what we end up naming you, is the name we were thinking about!
Your daddy and I wonder all the time who you will become. We will raise you the best we can, with the Gospel in your life, but we know that it is ultimately your decision. Please know, that no matter who you become in your life, that your daddy and I will love you....no matter what.
You will find out that your mommy is a worrier....your daddy, not so much. I find myself worrying a lot about if I'll be the mother you deserve, if I have what it takes to do the 2 AM feedings, if I will be patient enough, or if I will love you enough. I worry that maybe I will screw up. But with the help of your dad, and the priesthood he holds, I've found comfort in the blessings he's given me.
Speaking of your dad, he is the most incredible man I have ever met. You are so lucky to have him as your daddy. Please look up to him, ask him questions, and let him help you. Please know that while he's not super emotional, and doesn't voice his feelings very loud, or often, know that he loves you. Please lean on him when you're going through hard times. We might be old, but we've been through a thing or two. He is so excited to take you hunting, and camping with him. Use this time to bond with him.
I can't wait to meet you little guy, but I guess for now I will settle with feeling your kicks, your headbutts, and hearing your heartbeat at all of our appointments. It's amazing how hearing a little "swoosh" can brighten my day so much, and fill my heart with so much emotion.
I love you so so much,
Your Mommy
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Update
Hello there!
People keep asking me how things have been since the surgery, and I'm happy to report, things have been wonderful. Baby is healthy, and staying put! I go back in on Friday just to check things again, but I'm confident that things will look great! Baby doesn't like it when I sit down. He likes to kick me in my ribs! What a stinker!
We bought our car seat on Friday! I feel SOOOO much better knowing that we have it. It's still in the box down in the basement, but just knowing it's there takes a lot of stress away.
I am a little frustrated with something though. My doctor in Cedar will only deliver me in Cedar, which is 1.5 hours away. So, if I make it to my due date, I would have go camp out for the week before, and just wait to go into labor. That doesn't sound like too much fun. However, neither does driving 1.5 hours while I'm in labor. So we decided we would find a doctor here in Richfield to take over my pregnancy, or deliver me here. I will continue to see my doctor in Cedar until week 36 when he takes the stitch out of my cervix, and then we're free to see who we want. I would love to stay with him, I just don't see it happening. I've had a lot of people tell me that within 24-48 hours after the stitch being removed, they have gone into labor. One person told me that the baby was here in less than a half hour. When I went to the doctor here in Richfield last Friday, they told me that they won't deliver me before I'm 37 weeks. If I go into labor before the 37 week mark, they will send me to Provo, either by ambulance, or helicopter, depending on how long they think I have before baby comes. So, I'm not really sure I see the point in switching doctors, if neither doctor I want to deliver me, is going to be the one to do it. Of course, there is the possibility that I will carry to term, and I'll be able to deliver here in Richfield, and everything will be perfect. So, I'm just having a hard time knowing what to do about the whole situation. There is no way to KNOW what's going to happen, and I'm not the kind of person that deals well with that.
Anyways, there is a little bit of an update for you. I will know more after Friday!
People keep asking me how things have been since the surgery, and I'm happy to report, things have been wonderful. Baby is healthy, and staying put! I go back in on Friday just to check things again, but I'm confident that things will look great! Baby doesn't like it when I sit down. He likes to kick me in my ribs! What a stinker!
We bought our car seat on Friday! I feel SOOOO much better knowing that we have it. It's still in the box down in the basement, but just knowing it's there takes a lot of stress away.
I am a little frustrated with something though. My doctor in Cedar will only deliver me in Cedar, which is 1.5 hours away. So, if I make it to my due date, I would have go camp out for the week before, and just wait to go into labor. That doesn't sound like too much fun. However, neither does driving 1.5 hours while I'm in labor. So we decided we would find a doctor here in Richfield to take over my pregnancy, or deliver me here. I will continue to see my doctor in Cedar until week 36 when he takes the stitch out of my cervix, and then we're free to see who we want. I would love to stay with him, I just don't see it happening. I've had a lot of people tell me that within 24-48 hours after the stitch being removed, they have gone into labor. One person told me that the baby was here in less than a half hour. When I went to the doctor here in Richfield last Friday, they told me that they won't deliver me before I'm 37 weeks. If I go into labor before the 37 week mark, they will send me to Provo, either by ambulance, or helicopter, depending on how long they think I have before baby comes. So, I'm not really sure I see the point in switching doctors, if neither doctor I want to deliver me, is going to be the one to do it. Of course, there is the possibility that I will carry to term, and I'll be able to deliver here in Richfield, and everything will be perfect. So, I'm just having a hard time knowing what to do about the whole situation. There is no way to KNOW what's going to happen, and I'm not the kind of person that deals well with that.
Anyways, there is a little bit of an update for you. I will know more after Friday!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Surgery Update
Thank you to everyone that has called, and said prayers on our behalf! the surgery yesterday was successfull. the only complication we had was getting the spinal block in, which caused some extra pain after, and a numb bottom half for 5 or 6 hours after the surgery. they were able to get my cervix sewn shut with no problem. now we are hoping that i wont have contractions, and that this little guy will stay put for a while. as of now i'm suppsed to "take it easy" for the rest of the week, and then see from there. things really couldnt have gone much better.
on a different note, my poor husband is sick. poor guy. we are just a wonderful pair. hes been so sweet through all of this. im one lucky girl.
thanks again for all of your love and support.
on a different note, my poor husband is sick. poor guy. we are just a wonderful pair. hes been so sweet through all of this. im one lucky girl.
thanks again for all of your love and support.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Update
Hello friends and family!
once again we need prayers and good thoughts! This is gonna be a quick post, but we wanted to let you know what's going on. I go in on Tuesday for the surgery to sew my cervix shut, so that baby doesn't fall out. If we don't do this surgery, i would be delivering him in the next few weeks. We're scared, but glad that something can be done to help with this situation. Once i hit 36 weeks they will take the stitch out, and I'll be able to deliver normally.
Thanks in advance for all of your prayers!
once again we need prayers and good thoughts! This is gonna be a quick post, but we wanted to let you know what's going on. I go in on Tuesday for the surgery to sew my cervix shut, so that baby doesn't fall out. If we don't do this surgery, i would be delivering him in the next few weeks. We're scared, but glad that something can be done to help with this situation. Once i hit 36 weeks they will take the stitch out, and I'll be able to deliver normally.
Thanks in advance for all of your prayers!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Rough Day....
2 posts in one week?! This must be a new record! This post is more of me venting/worrying/needing to get some feelings out. So read at your own risk!
WARNING: possibility of negativity...
Today Victor and I went into the doctors office to hear our little man's heartbeat. Also for them to check my cervix. If you read the previous post of our journey to become pregnant, you know that it's thinner and smaller than most woman's. I've been going in every 2 weeks for them to check it. At first, it was doing amazingly well. These last couple appointments, it started to get smaller and smaller. It started out at 4.2 CM, and at today's appointment it was measuring at 2 CM. 2 CM is the smallest they will let it go before they sew it shut. So I have to go back in next Friday (March 7) for them to check it again. If it's gotten any smaller at all, they will be sewing it shut so Baby M doesn't fall out. As of now, I'm not on official bed rest, but I can't lift anything. He specifically said no lifting groceries, probably just to let me know how light things need to be for me to be safe lifting them. If my cervix is any smaller after next week, I will most likely be put on bed rest for the REST of the pregnancy. That is 4 long months of nothing but laying in bed, and peeing.
I'm freaking out a little bit here people. I'm terrified to go to the bathroom (weird I know) but the same muscles you use to go to the bathroom are the same ones used to push a baby out. I know that sewing my cervix shut could be the best thing, but right now, it's a scary thought.
So as of now, I can't lift anything, I can't really do any activities (working out and such) and I have to "take it easy"
I've been so lucky with this pregnancy so far, I wasn't really sick in the beginning, and I haven't really had any other complications, I guess I should be thankful, but right now, I'm scared.
If we do end up having to sew my cervix shut, I will probably have to stick with my doctor (which isn't a bad thing) down in Cedar. The only down side to that is he want's to deliver me down there. Which could mean 1 of 2 things. 1) I (and by I, I mean Victor) will have to drive 1.5 hours while I'm in labor. 2) I have to camp out down in Cedar the week before my due date, until I go into labor. Neither one of those options sound like much fun to me. It also doesn't sound fun to sit in the car for 1.5 hours on the way home after I've had a baby, and I'm sore.
Okay, I think I'm done complaining. I needed to get it out somewhere, and I find writing to be soothing.
If you're the praying kind, maybe say a few prayers for us!
WARNING: possibility of negativity...
Today Victor and I went into the doctors office to hear our little man's heartbeat. Also for them to check my cervix. If you read the previous post of our journey to become pregnant, you know that it's thinner and smaller than most woman's. I've been going in every 2 weeks for them to check it. At first, it was doing amazingly well. These last couple appointments, it started to get smaller and smaller. It started out at 4.2 CM, and at today's appointment it was measuring at 2 CM. 2 CM is the smallest they will let it go before they sew it shut. So I have to go back in next Friday (March 7) for them to check it again. If it's gotten any smaller at all, they will be sewing it shut so Baby M doesn't fall out. As of now, I'm not on official bed rest, but I can't lift anything. He specifically said no lifting groceries, probably just to let me know how light things need to be for me to be safe lifting them. If my cervix is any smaller after next week, I will most likely be put on bed rest for the REST of the pregnancy. That is 4 long months of nothing but laying in bed, and peeing.
I'm freaking out a little bit here people. I'm terrified to go to the bathroom (weird I know) but the same muscles you use to go to the bathroom are the same ones used to push a baby out. I know that sewing my cervix shut could be the best thing, but right now, it's a scary thought.
So as of now, I can't lift anything, I can't really do any activities (working out and such) and I have to "take it easy"
I've been so lucky with this pregnancy so far, I wasn't really sick in the beginning, and I haven't really had any other complications, I guess I should be thankful, but right now, I'm scared.
If we do end up having to sew my cervix shut, I will probably have to stick with my doctor (which isn't a bad thing) down in Cedar. The only down side to that is he want's to deliver me down there. Which could mean 1 of 2 things. 1) I (and by I, I mean Victor) will have to drive 1.5 hours while I'm in labor. 2) I have to camp out down in Cedar the week before my due date, until I go into labor. Neither one of those options sound like much fun to me. It also doesn't sound fun to sit in the car for 1.5 hours on the way home after I've had a baby, and I'm sore.
Okay, I think I'm done complaining. I needed to get it out somewhere, and I find writing to be soothing.
If you're the praying kind, maybe say a few prayers for us!
Friday, February 21, 2014
Our Journey
Hello Friends!
Over the past couple of weeks I have felt that I needed to write a post on our journey to get to where we are today....pregnant. Whether it's to help some of my friends that are going through the same thing, to offer some sort of hope, or to just get it all written down so we have it in the future.
After Victor and I got married we decided we would wait at least 1 year before we thought about having kids. Lets be honest, I thought about it, and asked him about it, but we waited. Looking back, I'm SO glad we did wait. I loved having that time with him. When we had been married for just over a year I went in for my yearly exam, and got shattering news. My doctor called me and told me that the results were abnormal, which could mean that I had cancer. What in the world?! I felt fine. I went in the next week for them to do a biopsy on the abnormal cells, and then we waited for the results. A week later the results came back as being PRE cancerous cells on my cervix, but they needed to be removed before they turned cancerous. I was so scared. I went home, locked myself in my room, and cried like a baby, for hours on end. When Victor got home I told him what was going on, and he said "It will be okay, Don't worry." WHAT?!?!?! Don't worry?! I was so angry at him. How could he NOT worry...didn't I mean enough to him for him to worry? Angry! I was referred to a new doctor down in Cedar (1.5 hours away from us) who would be doing the surgery to be removing the cells from my cervix. We met, and I had all sorts of questions for him. The first question was, will I ever be able to get pregnant, and have a safe pregnancy? After all, the cervix is what holds the baby in. I had always dreamed of getting pregnant, and feeling my baby move, and the thought that this could no longer happen? I couldn't let myself think about that. His answer to that question was, "Yes, and maybe no." HUH?! What does that mean? Yes, it was possible that I could get pregnant, and carry the baby to term with no problems at all. But there was also a possibility that if I did get pregnant, that they would have to sew my cervix shut, or the baby could....wait for it....FALL OUT while I was walking around. Ummm....this conversation was so not easing any of my fears. But he said that when/if I got pregnant, that they would keep a close eye on it to make sure they were doing everything they could. So, in August of 2011 Victor drove a very drugged up Megan to Cedar for the surgery to have the cells removed. It was scary, until I took all the drugs the doctor told me to take, and then....well...I don't remember ANYTHING! Probably a good thing. The surgery was a success. He was able to get all of the cells, and so far, none of them have returned! Thank the Lord!
In June of 2012 we decided it was time to start trying for a baby. After almost 2 years of marriage, we decided we were ready to give up our "him and me time" and turn it into "family time." We were both so excited that there was a possibility that we could have a mini me/him running around. However, it wasn't nearly as easy as we thought it would be.
In September of 2012 I went in to my doctor, and I told him that we were trying to get pregnant, but my cycles were ALL over the place. We were having a hard time knowing when the "time was right." I asked if there was something he could do to help. He said they could check for PCOS which could be what was causing my cycles to be everywhere. So they did a blood test, and they ordered an ultrasound. When I went down for the ultrasound, he said "the blood work showed no indication that you would have it, but we'll check anyways." I'm SO glad they did check anyway, because, I had it. Of course I had it. Why had I even let myself think I didn't have it? He said there was a medication that they could put me on that would help regulate my cycles, which should in turn, help us to get pregnant. After that appointment, I went home, and again, threw myself a pitty party. Why was this so hard for us? Why did I have to have everything wrong with me? Why didn't the Lord TRUST me with a baby, when all of these other people, who didn't really WANT a baby got one? Why us? Why me? These questions are totally NORMAL when going through this particular trial.
After that appointment, my doctor said there wasn't anything else he could do until we had been trying to get pregnant for a year. A year I thought? Easy Peasy! No way I won't be pregnant after that long. Little did I know......
Every time my new "regular" cycle was late, I would test, just to get a negative. 10 friends had become pregnant, some, without even trying. Others had had their babies. All the while, there was me, and my sweet, patient husband, just waiting for our turn. Babies were EVERYWHERE. Whether it was at church, or our brothers or sisters were having them, or coming into our works, they were everywhere. And every time we saw one (and by we, I mean me) I would get depressed, all over again. When was it going to be my turn? We tried ovulation kits, and NOTHING. We prayed, and fasted, NOTHING. We did everything we knew how to do, and NOTHING. I was discouraged. I was angry. I was hurt. I had given up. We had decided that if we couldn't get pregnant naturally, that we just wouldn't have kids. There was no way we could afford fertility treatments, and we couldn't afford to adopt, so, I had just gotten used to the fact that it was only gonna be us. (A little dramatic I know for it not quite being a year a trying)
In June of 2013 I went in for the "I'm still not pregnant" appointment, and cried. All I wanted was a baby. You never give up on the thought, as much as you tell yourself you do. I told Victor that there was obviously some reason why we hadn't been able to get pregnant yet, but not knowing what it was, was killing me. He look at me and said, "Hand it over to the Lord." So I did. I told myself that it would happen when it was meant to happen. One day I had a feeling that I needed to get out my Patriarchal Blessing, and read it. It tells me that I will have kids. I felt so much better...still running out of patience, but better. At my appointment, my doctor told me he wanted to do an HSG test just to make sure everything was okay.
I went in in August for the HSG test. I went through the pain of it, (due to my surgery, my cervix is very pain sensitive) just for them to tell me that they couldn't do it right then, and I would have to wait about 2 weeks and come back, and do it all over again. Sitting at the hospital, in a hospital gown, I broke down. They went and got Victor, he came in and held me while I BAWLED like a big baby. All I wanted was a baby. Why was I having to go through all of this?!
Two weeks later, I went back in, angry. Angry at the doctor that was doing the test, because he was the one that told me to come in the first time. Angry at my doctor for not doing this test sooner. Just ANGRY. I sat through the whole thing expecting the worst news, because, the way I saw it, everything else had gone horribly wrong, why would this not? As they finished the test, they called Victor into the room with me to go over the results. And it turns out, they found something. Something that could have been the whole reason, the whole time. BOTH of my fallopian tubes had blockages in them. When they injected the dye, both of the blockages were pushed out. This increased our chance of getting pregnant by 65% in the next 3 months. Holy cow! Those were great odds! I left the hospital with more hope than I had felt in a long time. It was so nice to not be SO angry anymore. As we drove home, I started crying. Victor asked me if I was in pain, and I said no. He asked me what was wrong, and I said "I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I gave it to the Lord, and I feel like there is a possibility it could happen, and soon."
On October 20, 2013 I took another pregnancy test. Not because I thought there might be a possibility, but because I was late. I hadn't gotten a positive ovulation test in September, and I didn't have any other symptoms, but I thought, what's it gonna hurt? As I sat there and looked at the test that read "pregnant" I didn't believe it for a second. There was still an hourglass flashing, so I just assumed it was going to pop up with a huge NOT in front of it. When the hourglass finally went away a 2-3 weeks popped up. Could this really be happening? Was everything I had wanted for over a year finally happening? This couldn't be right. So, I took another test, and another one, but that was it, because that was all I had! all 3 tests said the same thing "Pregnant 2-3 weeks" HOLY CRAP! I was finally pregnant! Where's Victor?! I want to tell him, I want to cry, (pregnancy hormones, or just relief) I want to shout it from the roof top. Victor was GONE hunting for the day. That's great, I'll run to the store and buy a couple onesies to give him. And that's what I did. When he finally got home, and we were alone (We had a house full of company) I handed him a box that he a pink and a blue onesie, a book that's called "Daddy's home" and my pregnancy tests (Don't worry, I put them in a baggie) As he opened it, he looked at me, in shock. He couldn't believe it either. He hugged me, then asked me if I was serious! YES! I was serious! "We're gonna have a baby."
I went to the doctor and we got the due date of June 26, 2014!
Friends, If you, or someone you know, are going through the same thing, know that there is hope. I know you feel like it will never happen. It's so hard to watch everyone else have babies, but I promise you, in the end, It will be worth it. Give it to the Lord, and let Him know that you trust Him. As I feel my son kicking around as I'm writing this, I'm so grateful that my husband had the faith to "give it to the Lord" and that he was patient with me, as I learned to do the same thing. Our life has changed so much already, and yours will too. Also, know that you're not alone. There are people out there that have gone, or are going through the same thing. Seek help from friends and family. Having that support system is so important!
I hope this may have helped give someone out there the hope that is a light at the end of the "infertility tunnel."
-Megan
Over the past couple of weeks I have felt that I needed to write a post on our journey to get to where we are today....pregnant. Whether it's to help some of my friends that are going through the same thing, to offer some sort of hope, or to just get it all written down so we have it in the future.
After Victor and I got married we decided we would wait at least 1 year before we thought about having kids. Lets be honest, I thought about it, and asked him about it, but we waited. Looking back, I'm SO glad we did wait. I loved having that time with him. When we had been married for just over a year I went in for my yearly exam, and got shattering news. My doctor called me and told me that the results were abnormal, which could mean that I had cancer. What in the world?! I felt fine. I went in the next week for them to do a biopsy on the abnormal cells, and then we waited for the results. A week later the results came back as being PRE cancerous cells on my cervix, but they needed to be removed before they turned cancerous. I was so scared. I went home, locked myself in my room, and cried like a baby, for hours on end. When Victor got home I told him what was going on, and he said "It will be okay, Don't worry." WHAT?!?!?! Don't worry?! I was so angry at him. How could he NOT worry...didn't I mean enough to him for him to worry? Angry! I was referred to a new doctor down in Cedar (1.5 hours away from us) who would be doing the surgery to be removing the cells from my cervix. We met, and I had all sorts of questions for him. The first question was, will I ever be able to get pregnant, and have a safe pregnancy? After all, the cervix is what holds the baby in. I had always dreamed of getting pregnant, and feeling my baby move, and the thought that this could no longer happen? I couldn't let myself think about that. His answer to that question was, "Yes, and maybe no." HUH?! What does that mean? Yes, it was possible that I could get pregnant, and carry the baby to term with no problems at all. But there was also a possibility that if I did get pregnant, that they would have to sew my cervix shut, or the baby could....wait for it....FALL OUT while I was walking around. Ummm....this conversation was so not easing any of my fears. But he said that when/if I got pregnant, that they would keep a close eye on it to make sure they were doing everything they could. So, in August of 2011 Victor drove a very drugged up Megan to Cedar for the surgery to have the cells removed. It was scary, until I took all the drugs the doctor told me to take, and then....well...I don't remember ANYTHING! Probably a good thing. The surgery was a success. He was able to get all of the cells, and so far, none of them have returned! Thank the Lord!
In June of 2012 we decided it was time to start trying for a baby. After almost 2 years of marriage, we decided we were ready to give up our "him and me time" and turn it into "family time." We were both so excited that there was a possibility that we could have a mini me/him running around. However, it wasn't nearly as easy as we thought it would be.
In September of 2012 I went in to my doctor, and I told him that we were trying to get pregnant, but my cycles were ALL over the place. We were having a hard time knowing when the "time was right." I asked if there was something he could do to help. He said they could check for PCOS which could be what was causing my cycles to be everywhere. So they did a blood test, and they ordered an ultrasound. When I went down for the ultrasound, he said "the blood work showed no indication that you would have it, but we'll check anyways." I'm SO glad they did check anyway, because, I had it. Of course I had it. Why had I even let myself think I didn't have it? He said there was a medication that they could put me on that would help regulate my cycles, which should in turn, help us to get pregnant. After that appointment, I went home, and again, threw myself a pitty party. Why was this so hard for us? Why did I have to have everything wrong with me? Why didn't the Lord TRUST me with a baby, when all of these other people, who didn't really WANT a baby got one? Why us? Why me? These questions are totally NORMAL when going through this particular trial.
After that appointment, my doctor said there wasn't anything else he could do until we had been trying to get pregnant for a year. A year I thought? Easy Peasy! No way I won't be pregnant after that long. Little did I know......
Every time my new "regular" cycle was late, I would test, just to get a negative. 10 friends had become pregnant, some, without even trying. Others had had their babies. All the while, there was me, and my sweet, patient husband, just waiting for our turn. Babies were EVERYWHERE. Whether it was at church, or our brothers or sisters were having them, or coming into our works, they were everywhere. And every time we saw one (and by we, I mean me) I would get depressed, all over again. When was it going to be my turn? We tried ovulation kits, and NOTHING. We prayed, and fasted, NOTHING. We did everything we knew how to do, and NOTHING. I was discouraged. I was angry. I was hurt. I had given up. We had decided that if we couldn't get pregnant naturally, that we just wouldn't have kids. There was no way we could afford fertility treatments, and we couldn't afford to adopt, so, I had just gotten used to the fact that it was only gonna be us. (A little dramatic I know for it not quite being a year a trying)
In June of 2013 I went in for the "I'm still not pregnant" appointment, and cried. All I wanted was a baby. You never give up on the thought, as much as you tell yourself you do. I told Victor that there was obviously some reason why we hadn't been able to get pregnant yet, but not knowing what it was, was killing me. He look at me and said, "Hand it over to the Lord." So I did. I told myself that it would happen when it was meant to happen. One day I had a feeling that I needed to get out my Patriarchal Blessing, and read it. It tells me that I will have kids. I felt so much better...still running out of patience, but better. At my appointment, my doctor told me he wanted to do an HSG test just to make sure everything was okay.
I went in in August for the HSG test. I went through the pain of it, (due to my surgery, my cervix is very pain sensitive) just for them to tell me that they couldn't do it right then, and I would have to wait about 2 weeks and come back, and do it all over again. Sitting at the hospital, in a hospital gown, I broke down. They went and got Victor, he came in and held me while I BAWLED like a big baby. All I wanted was a baby. Why was I having to go through all of this?!
Two weeks later, I went back in, angry. Angry at the doctor that was doing the test, because he was the one that told me to come in the first time. Angry at my doctor for not doing this test sooner. Just ANGRY. I sat through the whole thing expecting the worst news, because, the way I saw it, everything else had gone horribly wrong, why would this not? As they finished the test, they called Victor into the room with me to go over the results. And it turns out, they found something. Something that could have been the whole reason, the whole time. BOTH of my fallopian tubes had blockages in them. When they injected the dye, both of the blockages were pushed out. This increased our chance of getting pregnant by 65% in the next 3 months. Holy cow! Those were great odds! I left the hospital with more hope than I had felt in a long time. It was so nice to not be SO angry anymore. As we drove home, I started crying. Victor asked me if I was in pain, and I said no. He asked me what was wrong, and I said "I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I gave it to the Lord, and I feel like there is a possibility it could happen, and soon."
On October 20, 2013 I took another pregnancy test. Not because I thought there might be a possibility, but because I was late. I hadn't gotten a positive ovulation test in September, and I didn't have any other symptoms, but I thought, what's it gonna hurt? As I sat there and looked at the test that read "pregnant" I didn't believe it for a second. There was still an hourglass flashing, so I just assumed it was going to pop up with a huge NOT in front of it. When the hourglass finally went away a 2-3 weeks popped up. Could this really be happening? Was everything I had wanted for over a year finally happening? This couldn't be right. So, I took another test, and another one, but that was it, because that was all I had! all 3 tests said the same thing "Pregnant 2-3 weeks" HOLY CRAP! I was finally pregnant! Where's Victor?! I want to tell him, I want to cry, (pregnancy hormones, or just relief) I want to shout it from the roof top. Victor was GONE hunting for the day. That's great, I'll run to the store and buy a couple onesies to give him. And that's what I did. When he finally got home, and we were alone (We had a house full of company) I handed him a box that he a pink and a blue onesie, a book that's called "Daddy's home" and my pregnancy tests (Don't worry, I put them in a baggie) As he opened it, he looked at me, in shock. He couldn't believe it either. He hugged me, then asked me if I was serious! YES! I was serious! "We're gonna have a baby."
I went to the doctor and we got the due date of June 26, 2014!
Friends, If you, or someone you know, are going through the same thing, know that there is hope. I know you feel like it will never happen. It's so hard to watch everyone else have babies, but I promise you, in the end, It will be worth it. Give it to the Lord, and let Him know that you trust Him. As I feel my son kicking around as I'm writing this, I'm so grateful that my husband had the faith to "give it to the Lord" and that he was patient with me, as I learned to do the same thing. Our life has changed so much already, and yours will too. Also, know that you're not alone. There are people out there that have gone, or are going through the same thing. Seek help from friends and family. Having that support system is so important!
I hope this may have helped give someone out there the hope that is a light at the end of the "infertility tunnel."
-Megan
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
It's a.....
Hello Friends! We have had a wonderful first week of 2014!
On January 3rd, we went in for a doctor's appointment to check on baby! He was moving around so much, they couldn't find his heartbeat long enough to actually read it. So they ended up having to do an actual ultrasound to get the heartbeat! This turned out to be a huge blessing! We usually don't find out the gender till about week 20, and I was only 15 weeks at this time. The doctor told us it would be a long shot to actually be able to see what it was, but then when he started doing the ultrasound, the first thing he said was "Oh, that's definitely a BOY!!!!!" He was sitting perfectly so we could see exactly. It's so crazy to think that we're having a little boy in about 5 months or so! Victor is so excited to have a son! And I'm just so excited to be having a baby!
During this appointment, I also got a free prenatal massage! It was HEAVENLY! I love massages, but this one was perfect! I've been getting headaches, almost every day, and she worked on my shoulders, and neck while I was there, and I haven't had a single headache since then! It's been wonderful! I will be going back for a few more through out this pregnancy!
Anyways, this is a short post! I hope all is well!
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