Thoughts

Lately I've been thinking, A LOT about some things. Some of them matter, and some of them don't.

Working where I do, Death is something that we deal with. Kinda. We don't actually deal with people dying, but their loved ones that come in to order them a monument. We deal with lots of emotions, and grief. It got me thinking the other day about how precious life is. Sometimes its hard to be so thankful for the lift you have, and the trials you have in your life, but I would much rather take my trials over some of those that come visit me at work.
For example, I had a family come in a couple weeks ago that are making a monument for their 7 month old son, who got caught between his crib and the mattress, and suffocated on his blanket. I can't imagine losing a child, especially that young. but the thing that amazed me, while she was designing her son's headstone, she told me that I NEED to have a baby. CRAZY! I don't think I would be able to tell someone that, right  after burying my child.
These last few weeks have been sort of emotional for me. Lots of decisions are being made about our future, and it scares me. I know I've always wanted a baby, but now that the time is coming that we're gonna start trying for one, I'm scared. I'm TERRIFIED that my pre-cancerous cells are gonna keep coming back, and they are going to have to keep doing surgery. The more times I have the surgery done, the more my chance of being able to carry a baby to full term, if at all, goes way down. We have decided to wait till a couple check ups come back clean before we start trying, which is smart, but I feel like the longer we wait, the closer I get to not being able to carry our baby. I'm torn. I'm so grateful for my husband, and for the Priesthood he holds, and for the promptings he receives for our family. I've learned to put my complete trust in him, and just go with it.
Some of the less important thoughts include, what the heck is for dinner, when am I going to get our house painted, and how are we going to afford to do all the decorating ideas I have in this little head of mine.

On another note, tonight I'm super excited to be carving pumpkins with some friends! It's gonna be TONS of fun! I'm making chicken wings for dinner, and we'll probably do a little drinking...of the MTN Dew that is!

oh... and I'm glad there is spell check on this thing cause my fingers aren't working right! ;)