Rough Day....

2 posts in one week?! This must be a new record! This post is more of me venting/worrying/needing to get some feelings out. So read at your own risk!

WARNING: possibility of negativity...

Today Victor and I went into the doctors office to hear our little man's heartbeat. Also for them to check my cervix. If you read the previous post of our journey to become pregnant, you know that it's thinner and smaller than most woman's. I've been going in every 2 weeks for them to check it. At first, it was doing amazingly well. These last couple appointments, it started to get smaller and smaller. It started out at 4.2 CM, and at today's appointment it was measuring at 2 CM. 2 CM is the smallest they will let it go before they sew it shut. So I have to go back in next Friday (March 7) for them to check it again. If it's gotten any smaller at all, they will be sewing it shut so Baby M doesn't fall out. As of now, I'm not on official bed rest, but I can't lift anything. He specifically said no lifting groceries, probably just to let me know how light things need to be for me to be safe lifting them. If my cervix is any smaller after next week, I will most likely be put on bed rest for the REST of the pregnancy. That is 4 long months of nothing but laying in bed, and peeing.
I'm freaking out a little bit here people. I'm terrified to go to the bathroom (weird I know) but the same muscles you use to go to the bathroom are the same ones used to push a baby out. I know that sewing my cervix shut could be the best thing, but right now, it's a scary thought.
So as of now, I can't lift anything, I can't really do any activities (working out and such) and I have to "take it easy"
I've been so lucky with this pregnancy so far, I wasn't really sick in the beginning, and I haven't really had any other complications, I guess I should be thankful, but right now, I'm scared.
If we do end up having to sew my cervix shut, I will probably have to stick with my doctor (which isn't a bad thing) down in Cedar. The only down side to that is he want's to deliver me down there. Which could mean 1 of 2 things. 1) I (and by I, I mean Victor) will have to drive 1.5 hours while I'm in labor. 2) I have to camp out down in Cedar the week before my due date, until I go into labor. Neither one of those options sound like much fun to me. It also doesn't sound fun to sit in the car for 1.5 hours on the way home after I've had a baby, and I'm sore.

Okay, I think I'm done complaining. I needed to get it out somewhere, and I find writing to be soothing.

If you're the praying kind, maybe say a few prayers for us!